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Barney Fruzzle


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As the legislative session comes to somewhat of a stand still as all of the candidates put on their phoniest faces in time for the upcoming mid-term election, one piece of legislation has been passed. Republicans have pushed through a critter extermination bill, and have also attached legislation banning online gambling.

While the majority of the world is focused on steroids when it comes to Roger Clemens and his lying, casinos around the US are worried about their mints. It seems Clemens not only has denied using steroids, but he also denies ever taking free mints from various casinos.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have crapped out when it comes to re-signing LeBron James, but that does not mean the team will not have a James in uniform next year. Confused? The cavs have signed sixteen year old LeBron James from Barcelona, Spain.

Kirk Hinrich was traded on Thursday from the Chicago Bulls to the Washington Wizards. Soon after the trade was complete, Hinrich received a call from Gilbert arenas, challenging the former Bulls player to an online craps match.

In following in the footsteps of the NFL, one online casino has decided to take its 2014 Poker Championship tournament off the Internet, and into a cold weather stadium. Online Poker Website will be holding its top tournament at the new stadium of the New York Giants and New York Jets.

If the Seminole Indians want to get the gambling compact that they so desperately are searching for in Florida, it may cost them more than money. Florida lawmakers are looking to clean the Seminoles out in exchange for the right to offer gambling.

An equal rights activist group is calling for the removal of the word black from roulette tables at casinos around the country. We Are African American wants the black spots on the roulette board to be known as "Dark" from now on.

Baseball fans can be extremely superstitious, but the events of the past couple of weeks have one owner, we'll just call him Ant, believing that Kansas City outfielder Jose Guillen holds the keys to all gambling fantasy baseball leagues across the country.

The economy has taken a toll on Las Vegas casinos so much that they have had to resort to illegal activity to try and induce customers. Authorities have cited several of the casinos on the Las Vegas Strip for giving their slot machines steroids.

While most online casinos would like to operate under the false pretenses that they are giving away money to their customers, one has come along that has decided to be brutally honest. The You Will Lose Casino tells players like it is.

Atlantic City casino have there back against the wall with the economic recession, and late this past week, they came out swinging. The eleven AC casinos have now added fees for just about everything including breathing and walking.

A judge this afternoon ruled against the NFL in the Delaware sports betting case. The NFL was shocked at the ruling, claiming that they thought they WERE the law, and that what they said goes.

NFL owners have joined the crusade to stop Delaware from offering sports betting when they filed a lawsuit late this week. In a related issue, NFL owners have approved sponsorship deals with online gambling sites.

Some of the biggest stocks in the US casino industry took a hit on Tuesday after the news regarding former NBA players Charles Barkley and Antoine Walker. The two players have run up gambling debt and been sued by several casinos.

An Ohio man left his Burger King dinner in the car for nearly seven hours while he gambled inside an Ohio casino. Matt Frant was scolded by law enforcement and condemned by animal rights groups for neglecting his burgers while gambling.

A new study has been completed in the past week by B.S. and Associates and it involves online poker and the recent government actions to stop people in the US from playing. The study showed that participation at online poker sites by US players has skyrocketed since the government interfered.

The animal group is pissed off that DiCaprio is being portrayed as a sex symbol, with his shirt half unbuttoned in the billboard. They claim that since humans are animals, that gives them the group the right to infringe on another part of society.

Now that GM and Chrysler have completely fallen apart as companies, a new study handed to President Obama indicates the car giants may have a way out of financial ruin. That relief could come from casino gambling.

Why did Cinderella cross the road? To get to her to new job scrubbing the floors at the new Disney themed casino on the Las Vegas strip.

Already, online casino affiliates have begun promoting the camp heavily, with banners on some of the most popular online gambling websites popping up in the past few days.