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Maggie Sweltzky


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Atlantic City has long been the bully of the casino industry in the Northeast, but lately it has been the little brothers that have been eating up AC casino profits. The latest state to steal customers from New Jersey is Delaware.

Alabama Governor Bob Riley has bucked his own stance on gambling during the college football playoffs, but if that was not enough, Riley has now shown himself to be a true degenerate gambler.

There is some reverse psychology that Las Vegas casinos are using on their customers leading up to the holidays. Instead of touting big jackpots that can be used for holiday gifts, the casinos are pushing for customers to help give employee families something special for Christmas.

Jon and Kate Gosselin are in the middle of a messy divorce and recently Jon emptied out a joint bank account. Now, an expert believes that the best way to fix their financial problems is to gamble away their kids.

For those who want their slot machine gambling quick like their fast food, McDonald's has just the thing for you. McDonald's has announced that they will be adding slot machines to their dollar value menu in December.

A new poll has been released by the highly acclaimed B.S. & Associates and it shows that men whose names start with the letter "G" are more lucky than other men. The poll was conducted two weeks ago, and the findings are stunning.

A man has been busted by officials from a prominent Las Vegas casino for licking slot machines inside the establishment. Apparently the man claims he had fallen in love with Cleopatra from the popular slot game.

Las Vegas casinos have been using six-sided dice since they opened, but now there is a group that feels like the dice should be replaced. We Like Eight, a group of freaks who like the number eight, are objecting to the six-sided dice.

Lawmakers are not stopping at simply changing the laws to allow casinos in their states. One former politician believes that there should be casinos in every state building, including the capital buildings of all fifty states.

Several online casinos have started a new promotion in which customers can exchange their old cash for credit at the casino. The promotion is being called, "Cash For Credit", and there are very few restrictions.

Online casino players around the US are rejoicing on Tuesday because the US government has decided to give away free money to them. The US will give away money obtained by seizing over $45 million seized from BetOnSports.com founder, Gary Kaplan.

The game of Go Fish was never intended to make anyone lose money, but that is exactly what has happened to our own Crappy Carl. Carl lost money at an online casino over the weekend in an intense game of Go Fish.

OK, so the headline might have been a little deceiving here, but it does not change the facts. According to a recent poll, it has become increasing popular for middle aged men to be taking craps while they are online.

Cranky Carl was in rare form at the World Series of Poker on Friday evening. With only a few thousand chips left, our resident poker idiot decided to begin showing everyone he was playing with the most unlikeliest of tells.

A recent poll of 2,000 pregnant women has confirmed that online gambling has become the new chocolate. Of the women polled, more than half said that they crave Internet gambling, while only twenty-five percent crave chocolate.

Internet gambling is a virtual lock now that Democrats have taken over power in the White House. Kansas has zero chance of ever having a casino up and running, but it does make for good entertainment watching them try!

"The NFL already rapes their customers at the Super Bowl, so we might as well go for the jugular," said Garrett, "what could be better than having them lose half their paycheck buying tickets to the game, and the other half at slot machines out front of the stadium?"

Atlantic City casinos have tried almost everything to revive their struggling gambling industry. Now, casino owners have joined forces and are starting a new prostitution promotion. For every $500 spent on a players advantage card, a person will be eligible for a free hour with a prostitute.

Fearing that the epidemic of gum being stuck to the bottom of slot machines is growing to unhealthy proportions, North Dakota lawmakers Barry Goldwater is proposing new legislation that would eliminate gum in all state casinos.