Baseball
A candidate has decided to enter the race in Illinois to become the next governor, and he is doing so with a platform of only one issue-gambling. Jack Parsh announced his candidacy to become the next governor of Illinois on Sunday, and he pledged to reach out to the thousands of gamblers in the state.

"Gamblers need a voice, and I am going to be that voice," said Parsh at a news conference, "these other issue are all well and good, but the reality is that everyone gambles, and to win, I must have the vote of everyone."

Parsh claims that the first thing he would do if he won the election would be to draw up a new law that would give gamblers the legal right to bet on who will win future elections. The money generated from this form of gambling would go into luxury trips for all government employees.

Parsh also feels that sports gambling should not stop at the college level. He wants to build a state owned sports book that would not only take bets on pro and college sports, but also, high school, middle school, and recreation league sporting events.

"There is no better way for our youth to learn that gambling is dangerous then to have them be approached by organized crime members that are looking for the children to throw a Little league baseball game," said Parsh.

It seems as though this platform would only get Parsh so far, but early indications are that he has a lot of support. A phone poll taken right after his news conference showed 90% of those surveyed would vote for Parsh if the election was tomorrow.

Of the ten people polled, seven were family members of Parsh, two were members of the Gambino crime family, all of which would vote for Parsh. The one person that said they would not vote for Parsh in the poll was a member of the First Baptist Church of the Apiscopal Archdiocese  of Peter, Paul, and Mary.

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