Slots In Stalls? Las Vegas Sands needed something to help pick up business in these slow economic times. That is why they hired an innovation group to develop a bathroom slot machine that could be placed in stalls of all their casino bathrooms.

The group, Worldwide Gaming Dudes, developed the software for the slot machine and also the hardware that was installed in the bathrooms. The early returns from gamblers who have played the machines are mixed, but that has not stopped Las Vegas Sands casino stock from shooting through the roof early Monday morning.

"What we tried to create was the best 'number two' bathroom slot machine in the world," said Byron Blast, CEO of Worldwide Gaming Dudes, "no matter whether a player is in the bathroom for a few minutes or an hour, they will enjoy our innovative slot experience."

There are two different slots that are being offered in the bathroom stalls. The first is for people that have had the casino food that night. This slot allows for longer play then the other version, because WGW knew that those eating at the casino would be in the bathroom for a longer period of time.

The second version is for the player who has just the ordinary bowel movements of the daily grind. This slot has a maximum of ten spins before it shuts itself off. This version was created also to keep problem gamblers from slipping into the bathroom for some extra, worry-free gambling away from their spouses.

"We made our employees try out the bathroom slot machines before we introduced them to the public, and we received great reviews," said Sands GM Travis Bell, "some have even been caught in the bathroom during their breaks since we installed the machines."

The machines were installed two months ago, and casinos have seen an increase in nacho and hot wings sales since the machines were introduced. One player said that he now eats an extra twenty wings a night just so that he can go to the bathroom and play the machines.

Even though trading had not yet started at the time of publication, it is rumored that Sands' stock was up 250% from the close of the day on Friday.


Disclaimer: All news articles published on this online craps site are spoofs, parody, or satire. None of the information contained in these articles should be taken seriously.