Another Dumb Idea A new study has been completed in the past week by B.S. and Associates and it involves online poker and the recent government actions to stop people in the US from playing. The study showed that participation at online poker sites by US players has skyrocketed since the government interfered.

Of the 5,473 people that were polled, 471 said that they had continued to play Internet poker at their regular rate. The other 5,002 people claimed they had never played online poker until the government brought the issue to the forefront last week.

"I never played online poker before in my life," said Barry Grelsh, "but once I saw all of the people getting upset over what the government had done, I thought maybe I was missing something. So i signed on, and I have been playing for a week straight. I even quit my job."

The study also showed a major spike in children that were playing at online sites. B.S. and Associates Director of bulls*it Bobby Bungalo claims that child online gambling was up twenty-two percent since the government seized bank accounts that held millions of dollars in player winnings a couple of weeks ago.

"Online poker is now the new smoking for these children," said Bungalo, "it used to be that children would rebel against the government by smoking. Now, they see how much the government despises online gambling, so they have started to rebel by playing online poker."

Bungalo said that one of the children that was interviewed during the study even admitted to creating an account using a stolen credit card that he won while playing craps at a gambling house down by the local church. He claims the craps game was being run by one of the priests, but that could not be confirmed.

Upon hearing the news of the study, former President George Bush had an interesting opinion, one that surprised nobody. "If the government finds out who these children are that are playing poker online, they should find them, arrest them, and illegally interrogate them. That is how we did it in the old days, you want answers for people's behavior, you have to show them you can commit even grosser acts than them."

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