Cranky Carl Our own Cranky Carl, whose name we cannot release because of his popularity on this site, has headed out to Las Vegas to play in the World Series of Poker Main Event. Having seen Cranky Carl in action, we figured at best he would last ten minutes, but much to our surprise, our resident poker idiot made in into day two.

To understand how Cranky Carl made it to the second day at pokers biggest worldwide tournament, is to also understand that he has no business playing on day two. It was a series of mishaps that brought Cranky Carl into the next round of play.

First off, Cranky Carl was sitting at a table of amateur players to begin. He knew he had to make a move early if he was to have any shot of playing deep into the tournament. On his third hand of the tournament, he had a 5-9 off suit.

Two players in front of him began the aggressive play with one raising to 5,000, and the second calling. The ridiculous Carl immediately moved all-in, and both players called. One player held pocket aces, the other pocket kings.

The flop came and it was  a pretty one for Carl, 5-5-9, he had flopped a boat. The Cranky one, not realizing he still had to dodge an ace and a king to win the hand, stood up and yelled, "Take that you donkeys, I knew I could trap you sorry ass amateurs." The turn came four of diamonds, and the river was a seven of spades, Cranky Carl had tripled up, and sent home two players who were obviously better than him.

The rest of the first day had similar events, with everything breaking Carl's way. He took out four other players, with hands that were marginal at best. The best hand he played on the day, pocket queens, he actually lost. That sent Cranky Carl into his first tirade of the Main Event, one that landed him on the rail for twenty minutes.

"I came here to win," said Carl after he made it through to the second day, and while we did not have the heart to explain to him that he had no chance in hell, we listened attentively in order to bring you all this report.

Follow Carl's day two action and his almost assured elimination from the Main Event at the WSOP in the coming days as we bring you almost live reports from the Rio in Las Vegas.

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