Jackpot Winner?
A Wisconsin lawmaker has presented legislation that would make it mandatory for gambling jackpot winners to wear arm bands signifying their wins. Senator Greg Harris believes everyone should have a chance to hate these people.

These are tough economic times in the US, that is why Senator Harris wants everyone in his state to know that these jackpot winners are not struggling. What prompted this call for legislation, Harris claims it was a trip to his local Subway.

"I walk into Subway and there is a man who is taking pennies out of the extra change jar to pay for his sandwich, so I offer to buy his sandwich for him to help him out," said Harris, "the guy looks at me with this vicious look, and says, 'I don't need your money, I hit the lottery last week, I just left my money in the car', and with that he walked out."

It was at that moment that Harris realized these obnoxious lottery and slot jackpot winners had to be put in their place. His legislation does allow for different colors, depending on  the amount of money they won.

The senator's intention is to use the different color co-ordinations to show who the biggest possible pricks may be. It is a plan that is gaining support not only from fellow lawmakers, but also from the general public.

"I think this is a great idea," said waitress Betsy Grown, "some of these a**holes that come in my restaurant don't tip for sh*t, and it would be nice to know whether or not the bad tippers had the money to tip better."

The next step for the Bill will be the marking up stage, which will be done in the marking up room in the state capital. The room has never been seen by the media, but others who have been inside claim the marking up room looks like a Kindergarten classroom.

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