Crappy Hands
Poker spoofs, satire, lampoons and other articles about the most popular game in the world are featured in this section of Craps Online. All articles in this section are meant to be funny, humorous, or witty. Although not all articles about poker in this section will turn out to be that funny, that is our attempt. Please remember that these articles, as all the news articles on Craps Online, are fake, made up, and not meant to be taken seriously.
World Series Of Poker Main Event Final Table In March?
- By Juliette Drubatini
- Published 08/8/2010
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
-photo.jpg)
Officials from the World Series of Poker are considering backing the
final table for the Main Event up to the following March. The officials
are pleased that poker fans have waited for the final table until
November the past couple of years, and the WSOP believes they can push
the envelope even further.
World Series Of Poker Fight Breaks Out Over Sunglasses
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 06/16/2010
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
Whenever this many poker players all come together in the same room,
there is always the possibility of a fight. That is exactly what
happened today at the World Series of Poker during one of their premiere
events.
World Series Of Poker Officials Plan For Chimp Arrivals
- By Nathaniel Walimar
- Published 05/23/2010
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
Chimpanzees have long been considered close to the human race in many
different areas. This year, they will try their luck at the World
series of Poker. Forty-eight poker playing chimpanzees will travel to
Las Vegas to test their skills against human players.
Gambler Ejected From Casino For Eating Green M & M's - Craps Online
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 04/8/2010
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
A gambler in New Jersey was thrown out of a popular casino on Wednesday
for eating too many green M & M's. The card player was winning a
lot of money on the roulette table, so the casino found a reason to
remove him from the table.
Tiger Woods Or Jesse James: Gamblers Weigh In
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 03/30/2010
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
Sports books around the world have had a field day with the Tiger Woods
and Jesse James sexual addiction stories. With Woods already in
counseling, and James possibly on his way, gambler have weighed in on
which addiction will be next for these two celebrities.
Mothers Against Anything Fun Sets Protest At Florida Casino
- By Euguene Hawkston
- Published 08/27/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
Mother Against Anything Fun will be holding their annual casino protest in Florida this weekend out front of the Seminole Hard Rock
Casino in Hollywood, Florida. The group chose that spot a couple of
years ago when they realized there is a lot more to do at the casino than just
gamble.
Cranky Carl Breaks Arm Punching ComputerAfter Online Poker Beat
- By Nathaniel Walimar
- Published 08/23/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
-photo.jpg)
Crank Carl was at it once again this weekend when he broke his right
arm after punching his computer. The episode came after Carl took what
he believed was a tough beat at an online poker table.
Cranky Carl Makes Day Two At World Series Of Poker Main Event
- By Juliette Drubatini
- Published 07/6/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
-photo.jpg)
To understand how Cranky Carl made it to the second day at pokers
biggest worldwide tournament, is to also understand that he has no
business playing on day two. It was a series of mishaps that brought
Cranky Carl into the next round of play.
Online Gambling The New Chocolate, According To Pregnant Women
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 07/2/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
A recent poll of 2,000 pregnant women has confirmed that online
gambling has become the new chocolate. Of the women polled, more than
half said that they crave Internet gambling, while only twenty-five
percent crave chocolate.
New Study Shows Government Action Increases Online Poker Play
- By Barney Fruzzle
- Published 07/1/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
A new study has been completed in the past week by B.S. and Associates
and it involves online poker and the recent government actions to stop
people in the US from playing. The study showed that participation at
online poker sites by US players has skyrocketed since the government
interfered.
Cranky Carl Poker Files: Why Did I Have To Flop The Nuts?
- By Cranky Carl
- Published 06/21/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
-photo.jpg)
Recently, I had a most undesirable experience on the poker tables. My
peeps here at CrapsOnline sent me out to play some poker. Usually when
I get these type of assignments, I know they are looking for me to
explode, or do some whining.
Cranky Carl Files: Idiot Called With A-K Suited
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 04/27/2009
- Crappy Hands
- Unrated
In our first installment of the Cranky Carl files, Carl runs into a hand that was dominant over his own at a local poker tournament, but it still did not stop our cranky resident poker player from telling the player what he thought about his decision.
