Holy Craps
The most unbelievable crap can be found in our Holy Craps! section. Unreal news about what winners do with their winnings, what losers do to try to win, and other random gambling and casino news can be found here. Many times you will say to yourself, 'No Way!', after reading one of our articles, please let us remind you now, you're right, there is no way any of this crap happened. This previous sentence serves as our disclaimer, so please reread it until you understand that our news articles are spoofs, lampoons, twists, satires, about the casino and gambling industry and MUST NOT be taken seriously.
Researcher Claims Card Game War Is One Of Skill - Craps Online
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 07/16/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
A researcher at B.S. & Associates has determined that the popular
kids card game of War is one of skill and not luck. Dr. Henry Tibeau
claims to have scientific evidence that the game can be won more
frequently by the most skilled players.
Gilbert Arenas Gambles With Kirk Hinrich Gun Initiation
- By Barney Fruzzle
- Published 06/24/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Kirk Hinrich was traded on Thursday from the Chicago Bulls to the
Washington Wizards. Soon after the trade was complete, Hinrich received a
call from Gilbert arenas, challenging the former Bulls player to an
online craps match.
Online Casino Moving 2014 Poker Tournament To Cold Weather Stadium
- By Barney Fruzzle
- Published 05/26/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
In following in the footsteps of the NFL, one online casino has decided
to take its 2014 Poker Championship tournament off the Internet, and
into a cold weather stadium. Online Poker Website will be holding its
top tournament at the new stadium of the New York Giants and New York
Jets.
Online Gambling Operator Wants Terminals At The Dinner Table
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 05/6/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
An online gambling operator based in Japan is pushing their new
product, a terminal that can be installed directly into the dinner
tables of thousands of families in the country. The terminals would
eliminate the need to walk to a computer to gamble.
NCAA Basketball Betting Leads To New Sports Books In US
- By Euguene Hawkston
- Published 03/15/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
With the NCAA college basketball tournament just days away, several
high profile sports betting companies have decided to set up shops
throughout the US. The companies are hoping they can attract more of
the underground betting market than they already own.
Saints-Jets Super Bowl Would Make For Fun Governor Bets
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 01/22/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
The New Orleans Saints and the New York Jets are just one win each away
from meeting in the Super Bowl. Should that happened, an anonymous
source has said there will be Mardi Gras beads and hookers on the line
in the traditional bet between state governors.
Alabama Governor Addicted To Petty Gambling Bets
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 01/15/2010
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Alabama Governor Bob Riley has bucked his own stance on gambling during
the college football playoffs, but if that was not enough, Riley has
now shown himself to be a true degenerate gambler.
Slot Machines Coming To McDonald's Near You - Craps Online
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 10/4/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
For those who want their slot machine gambling quick like their fast
food, McDonald's has just the thing for you. McDonald's has announced
that they will be adding slot machines to their dollar value menu in
December.
Anti-Gambling Protest In Maryland Leads To Million Dollar Lottery Winner
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 10/2/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
An anti-casino protest in Maryland has led to the latest million dollar
lottery winner in the state. Joe Crisbow was marching in the
anti-gambling protest, when he stopped in a convenience store and
bought a lottery ticket.
New Poll Shows Names Starting With "G" Are Lucky-Craps Online
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 09/28/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
A new poll has been released by the highly acclaimed B.S. &
Associates and it shows that men whose names start with the letter "G"
are more lucky than other men. The poll was conducted two weeks ago,
and the findings are stunning.
Holy Craps! Man Cited For Romancing A Las Vegas Casino Slot Machine
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 09/22/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
A man has been busted by officials from a prominent Las Vegas casino
for licking slot machines inside the establishment. Apparently the man
claims he had fallen in love with Cleopatra from the popular slot game.
Online Casino Wins Emmy For Best Entertainment Value
- By Rip Wahnlohse
- Published 09/20/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
It was a strong night at the Emmy Awards for Gloakey Crown online
casino. The casino swept seven awards including Best New Entertainment
Option. Other online casinos were shut out at the awards show.
Six-Sided Dice Receiving Criticism In Las Vegas Casinos
- By Maggie Sweltzky
- Published 09/14/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Las Vegas casinos have been using six-sided dice since they opened, but
now there is a group that feels like the dice should be replaced. We
Like Eight, a group of freaks who like the number eight, are objecting
to the six-sided dice.
Oh Rats! Lucky Lab Buddy Wins Scientist $250,000 Playing Online Poker
- By Nathaniel Walimar
- Published 09/10/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Lab test rats are used by scientists all over the world to determine
future human behavior, but for a scientist in Lebanon, one rat has led
to fortune. Dr. Billy Brunwindle had one of his test rats win over
$250,000 playing online poker last week.
Coin Flipping Considered Gambling, Banned By Catholic Church
- By Euguene Hawkston
- Published 09/8/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Coin flipping is one of the purest forms of entertainment for young
children growing up. Catholic children, however, will no longer be able
to enjoy the pastime after heads of the Catholic church rendered the
game off-limits to its members.Cocaine Becoming Popular In The Online Casino Scene
- By Euguene Hawkston
- Published 09/6/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
It started in the casinos of Las Vegas and has now spilled over to
online casinos. The cocaine craze is sweeping across living rooms where
computers are set up and online slots are rolling across the screens.
Las Vegas Casinos Busted For Giving Steroids To Slot Machines
- By Barney Fruzzle
- Published 08/31/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
The economy has taken a toll on Las Vegas casinos so much that they
have had to resort to illegal activity to try and induce customers.
Authorities have cited several of the casinos on the Las Vegas Strip
for giving their slot machines steroids.
Alantic City Casinos To Charge Entry Fee, Walking Fee, Breathing Fee
- By Barney Fruzzle
- Published 08/21/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Atlantic City casino have there back against the wall with the economic
recession, and late this past week, they came out swinging. The eleven
AC casinos have now added fees for just about everything including
breathing and walking.
New Computers Coming Fully Loaded With Online Casino Software
- By Euguene Hawkston
- Published 08/17/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
The latest computers from some of the biggest manufacturers in the
business are now coming online gambling ready. New computers, starting
in 2010, will have online casino software already loaded in them.
Free Online Games Trigger Thirst, According To Study
- By Nathaniel Walimar
- Published 08/10/2009
- Holy Craps
- Unrated
Have you ever been playing free online games and had the experience of
being thirsty more than usual? If so, it could be because you suffer
from something called cyber-thirst.
